Golden Balls

British television has the WORST programs I've ever seen. The soap operas are on at night and are no better than the States' but they seem worse because they are on when everybody can watch them and not when the kids are away at school. There are several shows similar to "Flip That House" and there's always "Weakest Link" with the extraordinarily annoying host and her "I'm mad at the world for no apparent reason" tone and slow wink at the end of every show. But in all the wasteland that is British television, one show I can't get enough of is "Golden Balls" . This show CRACKS ME UP! You could read the rules on their website, but I'll just explain them to you here.

Round 1: Four players are given four "golden balls" each containing amounts of money or the word "killer." You DON'T want to take Killer balls through because in the end they can "kill" the amount of money you could possibly take home. Each player will show the other players two of their balls and hide the other two. The players will then discuss and try to figure out who has the other Killer balls and who has the big cash amounts. It's either honesty or lying to get through to the next round and a player vote will determine who goes. The player that is voted off "bins" (throws away) their four "golden balls."

Round 2: Two new cash amounts and one more "killer ball" is entered into the pot with the remaining 12 balls. The three remaining players receive five "golden balls" and show two and hide three. Lying and honesty again are the only tools to stay in the game as the players play a little "Clue" with each other to find out who is lying about their hidden balls and finding who has the Killer balls. Again, it's very important to weed out who has the Killer balls, and you'll see why in the next round. Another round of voting and the player who is voted off bins their balls again.

Round 3: This is called "Bin to Win." The two remaining players sit across a table from each other, the ten golden balls they brought through plus another Killer ball. The players will end up selecting five balls that will total a cash jackpot for them to win. In order to pick the five balls to "win" they must go through a series of rounds where each player will pick a ball to bin, then a ball to win. Example: Jack picks a £75 ball to bin. Then he picks a £1,500 ball to win. The £1,500 ball is put into the five and stays there. Lucy then picks a ball to bin. She picks a £1,600 ball to bin. Then she picks a Killer ball to keep. Their jackpot total just went down from £1,500 to £150. If they pick another Killer ball to keep, it would go down to £15. That's why you don't want to take Killer balls into each next round, because the less Killer balls you have in the end, the bigger the odds that your jackpot won't get cut. This goes on until the final five balls have been kept. Assume a jackpot of £20,000.

Round 4: Split or Steal. The players must now decide together whether they will Split the money, each going home with £10,000, or if they will steal. If one of the players Splits and the other Steals, the player that Steals gets the entire jackpot. If they both Split, they split the jackpot. If they both STEAL, they both go home with nothing. On the rarest occasions, they will both Split, I haven't actually seen it yet. Most of the time they both will say they're gonna Split, then both Steal and the show keeps the money and they go home losers. Tonight, the guy on the show lost because he split and the girl stole. I can only wonder what went through that guy's mind.

If you know how to play the game Mafia, this is very similar. You are trying to convince the other players that you are being honest and truthful when in fact you might not be. You want to get to the next round, so you will do whatever it takes to get there. The fun of the show is watching the players bluff and blunder their way into the next round, only to lose the money in the end by being greedy. This show doesn't have any real intrinsic value in it by making you feel good or philanthropic or charitable after you watch it like some shows will. Instead, it's just a fun show to watch, especially when in the end of the game that is supposed to be won, is lost by two greedy Brits. Ah, humanity. Cheers.

Thoughts on a Walk

I went on a walk today through, where else, Christchurch Meadow. I haven't gone the long way round (which happens to be the title of a book I bought after my walk, but that will come later) so I did this time. I only realized about two minutes into my walk that I was completely ruining the walk by having my ears bombarded with constant melodies, harmonies and such. Music is great in it's own time and place, which usually is most anywhere, however not on a walk. The birds were yelling at me to take out my ear pieces and I couldn't hear them under the Clapton Chronicles. An extra loud bird made me realize my mistake and I ashamedly uncovered my ears to reveal the natural songs that I was missing. The songs came from several different birds making me wish that I could put a name to each song's owner. Alas, I am not a birdwatcher, and cannot tell you who sings what song, but I can say that I enjoy the songs either way.

The path and the birds guided me to a river where boats were tied down and a lone rower was working his oars. Runners passed and a swan looked for food under the water's surface. It wasn't murky water, but it wasn't a clear river either, offering more of a green tint than anything. Ducks quacked and squabbled over landing spots on the water as two geese watched me walk by with intense curiosity. The rower was turning around to head back the other way. Down the river were more ducks and geese and boats and runners who had their own birds to sing them on their way. The wind was warm, but just quick enough to give you a chill under your jacket if you you're not careful. A bridge approached as the rower quickly rowed by and I turned towards the separate lane instead of crossing the bridge. The water decided to turn too and on the new path the river turned to a creek and continued by my side. The water was definitely green, something you would expect an old worn emerald to look like. The ducks followed, content to kick their feet up and dive for food every so often. Rowers on the St. Anne's College Club ran to practice as the clocks of Oxford city started chiming 11 o'clock.

"...old green water... That tree looks like a big fungus... I wonder what that guy's reading about... That chime sounds like the one in A Christmas Carol... We should have grey squirrels in Indiana... That guy already passed me once... I wanna play rugby... Panini or pasty?... I'm in Oxford... This place is so OLD!... Harry Potter was filmed here..."

Ireland

All my life I've wanted to go to Ireland. Before I fell in love with Scotland, I wanted to go to Ireland. When it was just a far off dream and something I never thought I would get to do, I longed to see the greens of the Emerald Isle. This past week, I got to go. It was a memorable trip, albeit way too short. Arriving at the Shannon airport on Tuesday around 4:30 as the sun was setting behind me, barely peeking through some clouds. A quick ride into Bunratty which is directly between the airport and the city of Limerick and I found myself next to Bunratty Castle, home to the Earls of Thomond since the 1500's and the original Durty Nelly's pub. I stopped in for a sandwich and chips and a pint since it had just started raining, and an hour later I walked, in the dark, down the Irish lane to my B&B I had booked for the two nights I was to be there. Greeted with a Bailey's coffee by the fiance of the daughter of the owners (get all that?), I was shown to my room where I fell right asleep, ready for the morning.

I woke up to the sunrise over the hills that separate Bunratty from Limerick and watched the sky get bluer and bluer as I ate a terrific Irish breakfast (yogurt, scones and toast, eggs, bacon, sausage, beans, juice and coffee). Julie (the daughter of the owners who were apparently still in Spain) and I sat and talked about the differences between the Irish and American educational systems, debt, marriage and what I should do for the day. I decided to head to a small town, Ennis, and do some window shopping and people watching. It turned out to be a rather modern town, although it was small and provided quintessential Irish accents as I passed by people on the streets. It was a beautiful day.

I headed to Limerick in the evening. Julie suggested a pub where traditional music was always being played and who would want to miss that? I didn't end up at that pub mainly because I didn't know where it was and it was raining once I got into Limerick and I just wanted to sit and have a Guinness. So I walked across the street from the station and ended up in The Railway, which according to Julie is a local's bar and she had never heard of an American going into that pub. So, for one day, I WAS Irish. I had spent the day walking through shops and stores in a small Irish town, and ended the day preparing for the Ireland/Brazil soccer game (and in Ireland it's soccer, not football, I love Ireland for that) by enjoying the locals and the Guinness and Bailey's. Another restful night in the featherbed and awoke to find Brazil won 1-0 due to poor defense. The second Irish breakfast made me quickly forget.

The walk I had down to my morning activity of walking through Bunratty Castle and the Folk Park (a "living" 19th century village showing what life was like in Ireland at that time) was one of the best walks I've had since I've been traveling. It was about 60 degrees and the sky was slightly overcast. I had Irish jigs and reels playing in my iPod as the birds fought to have their songs be heard as well. Just realizing that I was in Ireland, living the dream, smelling the green grass and watching a man walk through his field while his dogs chased each other around him made me happy. It also made me want to put an offer on the house that I just passed that's for sale. Probably a pretty penny but worth every one!

After the castle and park I decided on one last Guinness before I headed home and it was the best one yet. I hope I can come back to Ireland before I head for the green, green grass of home. If I do, it will most likely be a quick trip to Dublin, but someday I hope to return to the haven that is the Irish countryside. Until then, I'll just listen to the jigs and remember the sun rising over the hills.